Unspoken Voices
1989 A voice. I’m sure it’ll speak soon. Just penetrate the night to accost me. I lie in bed, this worry growing into an obsession. My anxiety has escalated. Clusters of panic attacks have ambushed me repeatedly. In the last session I had with my psychiatrist, he asked me if I’d heard voices. I told him no. Then, terrified, I asked him if I would. He said he didn’t know. So it’s a possibility. Of course it’s a possibility. If it wasn’t, he would’ve told me, No! You won’t hear my voices! He would’ve laughed and dismissed it. He would’ve assured me. But I saw the concern in his face…
The Inexorable Day
That Other Me is a series that explores the immediacy and intimacy of various mental health episodes I’ve experienced throughout my life. 2000 Awake. A blissful moment of nothing. Then … A thick, soggy, oily mess sitting in my head, clogging all rational thinking. The anxiety simmering, like some foul concoction ready to overflow. The aberrant thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. And then … Then … An acknowledgement of time. Of just how much of the day there is to survive. Because each hour, each minute, each second, is implicit with the danger that this is going to get worse. And worse might just become worst. I…