: This
Publisher: MidnightSun Publishing
Publication Date: 1 August 2023
Category: Young Adult
Paperback: (129 x 198mm)
Print: 978-1-9228581-4-6
Ebook: 978-1-9228581-5-3

I don’t get this.

I don’t have anything to worry about.

I’m fifteen! And in Year 10!

I should be thinking about the way Samantha keeps looking at me, nursing that crush she’s had on me since primary school. Or about Gabriella, who’s so cool and seems interested. Or the Boland Fellowship, an award given out for academic excellence that everybody thinks I could win. Or about my best friend Ash, and the way he’s sullen about his arguing parents, or our friend Riley, who’s becoming a bigger and bigger troublemaker, although we don’t know why.

But when I wake up one night, terrified, it starts a journey of trying to find out what’s wrong. I can’t go to Mum and Dad. We don’t talk about things like this. And kids would at school would make fun of me if they knew.

So it’s scurrying around like nothing’s wrong, while everything’s coming apart.

I don’t get this.

Set in the 1980s, a fifteen-year-old unnamed Greek boy is completely confused about what is going on as he tries to fend off what we now know as anxiety, panic attacks and depression while surrounded by his Greek family, friends and girls he might or might not have a crush on.

‘This is engrossing, authentic and important fiction. I hope it finds its many readers out there.’
– Kevin Brophy
Reading Time

This is a raw and powerful YA novel that takes an unflinching deep dive into anxiety and mental health. Lazaros Zigomanis writes with candour, flair and humour about adolescence, migrant parents and relationships. Full of late 80s nostalgia but still incredibly timely, This will be a beacon to many readers – young and old – who can relate to the experience of surviving high school with mental health challenges.’
Holden Sheppard
Award-winning author of The Invisible Boys and The Brink

‘A deeply hopeful and beautifully nuanced portrayal of the toll of anxiety, that delicately explores the balance between cultural expectations and stigma toward mental illness within migrant families.’
Amra Pajalic
Award-winning author of Sabiha’s Dilemma

‘While “lived experience” may now be an overused term, it is one which can legitimately be applied to this beautiful and sensitive novel.  The author acknowledges that he struggled with mental health issues when a teenager and these struggles have informed his novel.  This is infused with authenticity and at times a raw honesty which fully engages the reader.  While the demographic for whom it is written is the young adult market, there is much to be learned and enjoyed by all readers regardless of age.’
– Rod McLary
Queensland Reviewers Collective

‘Raw, endearingly honest and full of heart.’
Demet Divaroren
Award-winning author of Living on Hope Street