• That Other Me

    My Little World Too Big

    (1995) Home is safe. At home, I can control things. But … I need to go out. I almost have to try surprise myself with this decision. If there’s premeditation, it starts the countdown. I have only minutes I can survive out in the world, so even when I know I might need to go out, I just can’t alert myself to when I’ll do it. So I’ll do things to distract myself. To lose myself in some façade of normalcy. Write. Play a computer game. Read— And, then, I’ll jump into my car. Driving a car is stupidly unsafe when you’re an agoraphobic, but it’s the only way to…

  • That Other Me

    That Other Me

    (General) I don’t remember a time in my life before anxiety. I do remember having too many thoughts, too big an imagination, and too wide a gulf between my highs and lows. The anxiety in my teens was a separator…

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