OCD’s Intrusive Thoughts: My Unreal Reality
I am Les Zigomanis, I’m unemployed, I’m not a famous writer, I’m not rich, and I’m not married with a family. I have to prove to myself that I know this is my reality as a 19-year-old. I am Les Zigomanis, I’m unemployed, I’m not a famous writer, I’m not rich, and I’m not married with a family. I don’t know when it began, when I needed to start proving this to myself. No doubt, it’s a byproduct of the anxiety that’s grown through my teens, and recently exploded. I am Les Zigomanis, I’m unemployed, I’m not a famous writer, I’m not rich, and I’m not married with a family.…
Agoraphobia: My Little World Too Big
(1995) Home is safe. At home, I can control things. But … I need to go out. I almost have to try surprise myself with this decision. If there’s premeditation, it starts the countdown. I have only minutes I can survive out in the world, so even when I know I might need to go out, I just can’t alert myself to when I’ll do it. So I’ll do things to distract myself. To lose myself in some façade of normalcy. Write. Play a computer game. Read— And, then, I’ll jump into my car. Driving a car is stupidly unsafe when you’re an agoraphobic, but it’s the only way to…