OCD’s Intrusive Thoughts: Knives and Me
That Other Me is a series that explores the immediacy and intimacy of various mental health episodes I’ve experienced throughout my life. 1989 I hold the point of the knife to my belly. Dare myself. I feel the point prick my skin. And there’s the possibility I might, I just might, thrust, and impale myself. A friend tried to take his own life this way; he told me as he felt the blade going in, he couldn’t keep pushing – it wasn’t so much the pain, but the sickening realization of what was happening. But I’m not standing here with the intent of taking my own life. It’s the thoughts…
Agoraphobia: My Little World Too Big
That Other Me is a series that explores the immediacy and intimacy of various mental health episodes I’ve experienced throughout my life. 1995 Home is safe. At home, I can control things. But … I need to go out. I almost have to try surprise myself with this decision. If there’s premeditation, it starts the countdown. I have only minutes I can survive out in the world, so even when I know I might need to go out, I just can’t alert myself to when I’ll do it. So I’ll do things to distract myself. To lose myself in some façade of normalcy. Write. Play a computer game. Read— And,…