The Other Me
‘Pharmaceutical Daze’ i. Once I took an Ativan, everything grew still. Peacefulness swept over me. There was no anxiety, no unease of any kind; there was only a relaxation that was euphoric. The Rohypnol was different. When I took one at night, my whole body buzzed, like a bee was zipping around inside my head. Luckily, I was soon asleep, so I didn’t have to put up with the sensation for long. As for the Sinequan, I started with two a night. A month later, that was increased to three. Another month later, it was one in the morning, and three at night. But if they were making me feel…
The Other Me
‘The Good Doctor’ v. I used to wake up and, like most people, would be on autopilot. I’d do whatever there was to do, move through the day, and not have a single thought about it. It was that simple. Now, whenever I woke, there was this thing to greet me, this unease threatening to blow. I was aware of – trapped by – every thought, and they all felt wrong. I wanted to get out of the inside of my head, back on autopilot, but autopilot was broken. All that remained was surviving the moment. When I woke this morning, I was sure I wouldn’t make it through the…