• The Other Me

    The Other Me

    ‘Hello, Panic, My Old Friend’ ii. Dean had a party one night and invited Stan and me along. It sounded like just what I needed – a day out to have a good time, not have to worry about anything. But I didn’t feel right from the moment I went – hot, stuffy, my head clogged. I thought once I got there, I could relax, get into things. I didn’t. Instead, I became increasingly uncomfortable. The room swayed and now it was stifling. It was summer and warm outside, but not like this. My clothes smothered me. Dean and Stan started to drink. I decided to hold off until my…

  • The Other Me

    The Other Me

    ‘Life’s Short Interruption: Part I’ i. In life untethered from psychiatric supervision, free from ongoing medication, I tried to find where I now stood. There was no forgetting this thing. It was scarred into me, just like the surgical scars on my right arm when doctors had operated to insert plates on broken bones when I was sixteen. But that healed. It might never have gotten back to perfect, but it was healed. This felt like it could re-fracture, and there was no forgetting it. It remained there, lurking, inside my head. Some days, I was fine. And some days, I wasn’t. The anxiety would brim, threatening to go from…