Contemporaneous: Chapters 77 – 79
77. I drive home, shaken, wondering how this has splashed back onto Autumn. There’s a cost to coming back. It’s happened repeatedly. Luca might say thought defines reality, and maybe I can extrapolate how my thinking has determined how each cycle has unfolded, but there was no line of thinking about this, about having Autumn forgetting me. This is punishment. It has to be. For taking my own life. This is purgatory. Surely. I try to squelch that thinking, because it’s fatalistic, and fatalism has got me in this mess. Each time I’ve tried to sort it out, I’ve found a new mess. Now I’d give everything up to fix…
Contemporaneous: Chapters 75 – 76
75. I don’t know why Melody’s come to the hospital with us, but then again I don’t know why I’ve come either. My existence unhinges Autumn – she cannot reconcile why everybody’s telling her that she should know me, but she doesn’t. It’s just a hole in her mind. I’m a hole. I don’t understand it either, unless it’s just that fucking rule Luca told me about – one thing would change. This is a pretty big thing to change, though, and unfair to change Autumn, rather than change me. When I didn’t remember Peta, that only impacted me. Autumn’s issue impacts her, her work, her family, and her world.…
Search