Contemporaneous: Chapters 29 – 30
29. As I drive to visit my mum, what I can identify is that there’s something fundamentally wrong with my thinking. It’d be easy to doubt the reality of my experience with Luca, but it sits there, along with a week’s worth of living, in my memories, the only thing that’s hazy being the train hitting me. But I think I feel even that, muscles aching like they would a couple of days after a workout. I’m not even sure I’m not imagining that, but it’s all so commonplace, no different to any of those ordinary things we do everyday that we assign to them no importance. I don’t know,…
Contemporaneous: Chapters 21 – 22
21. No messages in the morning, nothing but that unease of something that went wrong, and the uncertainty of how culpable I am. But this is no different to any of the multitudes of arguments I’ve had with Lana, although (as so many do with relationships) there’s that regret of what might’ve been. I’m too inexperienced in relationships (at least long-term ones) to know if I’m unrealistic, or perhaps I’m too wishy washy to see it for what it is. I have breakfast, brush my teeth (while playing my Words shots), then shower, preparing to sit in front of the computer and try get through some writing before I meet…