The Inexorable Day
That Other Me is a series that explores the immediacy and intimacy of various mental health episodes I’ve experienced throughout my life. 2000 Awake. A blissful moment of nothing. Then … A thick, soggy, oily mess sitting in my head, clogging all rational thinking. The anxiety simmering, like some foul concoction ready to overflow. The aberrant thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. And then … Then … An acknowledgement of time. Of just how much of the day there is to survive. Because each hour, each minute, each second, is implicit with the danger that this is going to get worse. And worse might just become worst. I…
The Other Me
‘That Same Old Feeling’ ii. During the next week I adhered to a strict regime: I’d wake up, do some editing or writing, finish at 5.00, and then around 6.00 I’d take an hour walk. In the evening, I would totally relax – no writing, no editing, not even any reading; I’d just lay back and watch a movie and switch off. A week later, the head pains went. Even Dr Warren was surprised by my improvement. My victory was short-lived. Whilst the headaches didn’t return, the low mood creeped back in. Sometimes I’d feel bleak. Another night, I was drifting off in front of a courtroom drama on television…