Contemporaneous: Chapters 29 – 30
29. As I drive to visit my mum, what I can identify is that there’s something fundamentally wrong with my thinking. It’d be easy to doubt the reality of my experience with Luca, but it sits there, along with a week’s worth of living, in my memories, the only thing that’s hazy being the train hitting me. But I think I feel even that, muscles aching like they would a couple of days after a workout. I’m not even sure I’m not imagining that, but it’s all so commonplace, no different to any of those ordinary things we do everyday that we assign to them no importance. I don’t know,…
Contemporaneous: Chapters 27 – 28
27. We clean up, then lay in bed, Lana cuddling into me, her hand stroking my chest, and it does feel nice to have this connection. I hold onto that. This is what people want: this bonding. And maybe it’s a foundation to build on, which I’ve too often disregarded in recent year. But I query if this just another rationalization. After a while, you lose track of what’s rationalizing and what’s actual logic. It’s funny now that I think about that when I was given the option of the doors, I didn’t even think about it. I just decided to come back because that seemed the most hopeful decision.…
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